Gone Before.

FRIDAY, JULY 29, 2011

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." (Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV)

Driving to Porter Ridge my first days in October, this verses was my mantra. The sun rising over 485 going eastward to Lawyers Road, my heart pumping and mind racing with anxious thoughts all blurred into one big, daily episode of fear, overwhelm, and insecurity. Everything in me became constrained and swirling, my composure fighting for dignity and strength, my head immersed in lies of self-defeating prophesies.

Then my friend Amy lent me these words:

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you;

he will never leave you nor forsake you.

Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." (Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV)

This truth over me prevailed. It receded the angst and inabilities and questions and fears. It set HIM above all, through all, and with all. With me. Truth that lighted my path, cleared my way, and postered divine purpose to Porter Ridge.

This summer, I've had 'little' ways which the Lord has gone before. Trish and I are both reading this phenomenal book, A Praying Life by Paul Miller. (I'll write about this another day, but it's an instant classic on my shelf and in my heart.) It has opened the curls of my lashes to the presence of the Lord preparing the way in my life.

Let me expound a bit. He's so intensely showing up in the little things, that I can't help but lean over and say, "Did you pray for that?"

Like providing me with a free cup of coffee on a delighted day post-Marie Catribs where I craved one so bad, but couldn't get myself to fork over the $2.59.

Or praying one night about how to "end well" with friends and family yet torn between times and schedules and places... which turned into Trish & I opting out of the beach which allowed good time with Bekah, and our Grand Haven day turning to rain, which sat us at my sisters table with tea and then laying later on tubes with ice cream and book covers and conversations...

Or accidentally reserving only one night in Nashville, amidst our many tries to expand our stay, which found us then along Main Street Franklin with shops closed and driving home that day anyway...

Or standing outside of Church At Charlotte with my friend Katherine, asking her to water my flowers for a day or two while I was gone (after endless and anxious reorganizing of how I was going to try to get my flowers watered while I was gone; trying to take the burden off any one person). Her reply instead being, "Why don't I just live there!?" in exclamation and expectation, full eyes brimmed with enthusiasm. So, sure enough, she moved in for a month and watered my flowers which thus bloomed with boasting hydrangea blues and spurning hosta stalks.

Like sprinkles atop frosting, God has gone before me. These little clippets declare Him like testimonies along the way. I see his hand marking my steps, his palms clearing the way, his heart setting a stable path for my feet. He knows me, he loves me, he claims he, he proves himself through me. Whether anxious worries or coffee cravings, the verse collaborates with the common pronouncing that the Lord has gone before.