So on this day, five years later, I post her letter once again. As a tribute to her, and what she means to me.
For Mom, as you
turn fifty ~
After three
different card stores, sections from birthday to mother to fifty years, there
was still no card that came even adequate to put words and texture to the
legacy that your fifty years offers.
So instead, after scrolling their words and reviewing the pretty
pictures on the covers, I thought I would put words to it myself, in the
simplest form, in story.
I sat down at the
retreat this weekend, enamored by the beautiful women of Crossroads and found
myself flustered, wondering what I would have to offer them, and wishing I
could almost shrink in the back.
But then, a woman came up to me and said, “I remember you from the last
retreat, last fall.”
I looked at her
blankly, rummaging my mind for a recollection, a name, anything to try and
place her. But instead, all I
could present was a blank, polite smile.
But she stopped and
continued, grabbing my arm. “I
remember you because of the story you told about your mother.”
And then it clicked
– last fall, gathered around a table, discussing motherhood, that I shared
about the woman you were.
This is not an
uncommon intercession with people I know.
Surely, they remember me, but more often than not, they also remember
you. Not because they have met
you, but because of the stories I have told about you, the pride I hold in my
eyes when I think of you, and the gift I know I am giving when I share the way
you live.
I share it
often. The way you work and talk
and pray with Aunt Mil, the way you work with care to make a house a home, the
way you tend flowers and give them away to bring beauty to people’s lives. The way you send mail and packages, and
did for me for five years straight.
The way you put faith and family first. The way you and dad display your relationship.
I share these
stories with people.
At wedding showers,
I am often asked to give a word of advice… and I steal yours and dads: Date
your spouse. The legacy you both
have given your children is a gift we all hold. I share your stories of Mom’s Mystery Trips, serving at the
KCC Café, lighting candles at the
dinner table, sharing Bible Studies and coffee dates, making home a place of
peace rather than argument, trips you planned and brought us joy through, and how
you held your Bible to your chest when you heard of your parents.
Even just this week
I was talking to a cousin about marriage and suggested she talk with you,
because you and dad have been so faithful and committed. Funny thing is, she already knew. She didn’t need my words, because she
already saw both you & dad live your love so strongly that she had called
you herself.
Your legacy in
these fifty years is your life.
You live to shine to others and we see your light.
I leave you with
one more story. This week you turn
fifty. And this week, your life
will live as a testimony in one more home.
On my women’s
retreat, the speaker talked about women being the presence of the Holy Spirit
in their homes. Afterward, we
gathered in small groups - a collection of strangers piled together to work and
love as women for the weekend. At
the end of the small group session, I paused and took a breath and said, “I
actually have a story to share to those of you who are moms. Now, I know my parents aren’t perfect,
but the legacy my mom left in our home still sticks with me today and I share
it with you as a model and maybe as a way it can be done for you. My mom was a sense of peace in our home
all growing up, and now as a adult, I still remember specific things she did. When I would wake up every morning, she
would be praying. You just knew it
was mom’s prayer time, no thought given to it. It wasn’t until I grew up that I realized my mom was unique
in this. She woke with my dad and
then spent her time in prayer.
Then we would bundle for school and no matter how late we were running,
she would gather us in the back room and we would pray. We started our day that way, every
day. The school day would go on
and when we returned home, she would be there. She would set aside her ironing, put the dinner pot aside,
tell the caller she would call back later, and she would stop. She would bend over the island and ask
about our day, take the time to be with us. When dad got home, it was much the same. They would kiss each other and shut the
door for five to ten minutes, just being with one another and being
together. Sometimes this trait
followed dinner too. Even now,
though we are all grown, she is still there. She calls, we call, we gather. There is something great about being a mother, a woman, and
I offer you the story of my mom to help you be the presence of the Holy Spirit
in your own homes.”
I left the small
group with their eyes glued and thoughtful, though still wondering if I had
said the right thing and if my words meant anything. But from a small group of eight, four of which were
moms, women came up to me to say thanks for that story. Your story. One tattooed woman with two little kids at home gathered us
together with tears in her eyes and said, “Christina changed my life today and
the life of my home. Because of
the story of her mom, I want to be that way. I want to be a sense of peace for my kids and my husband. I want to keep trying. I am going go back home and remember
your mom and try to be that sense of peace for my family.”
So mom, this week,
as you turn fifty, know that you are a powerful woman. You live a legacy to those you hold
dear, to those you meet, and those you don’t even know. Your one life has encouraged and
inspired many. You are a place of
peace, a woman of shelter. You are
a cup of tea for a friend on a difficult afternoon, a partner in the jeep on a
Sunday afternoon drive, a candy-holding story teller on a Monday night, a
cookie-baking Grandma on a Tuesday morning. You are a friend, a love, a light on the hill, a legacy.
Thank you for being
you. You are a blessing.
Love you always,
Christina Jill