So Many Words.

My sweet friend came over the phone line, myself either single or early married -- before kids -- and her voice was tender and kind, full of tact and peace.

"I only have so many words a day, and I'm saving them for Hannah."  ~  Bekah Wallace

The exactly order of words in the quote I don't remember, but it was pretty much that summation...  Only so many words to give, only so many words to take in, and they were reserved, carefully, thoughtfully, intentionally, for Hannah, her (probably) almost three year old at the time.

I took her words softly, like wisdom laid out in language.

I knew her well enough to receive them as they were meant: to be a polished line that guarded the space and boundaries around what was entrusted to her that day: her daughter, her Hannah.

She had the grace to use them with strength and tact, with confidence and peace, and to allow me, the outsider, to not ask for excuses or plead for more words, but to respect those lines drawn and feel the pleasuring of letting friendship go at a distance, in love and geography.

We had been dear, close friends for years.  But time and circumstances lead us apart.  Not in heart, but in ability to communicate.  Narrowed to phone calls meant lengthy ones endured, but the pressure cooker of time of that young, pre-school mama was treasured more than I knew.

Now, with a three and one year old of my own, her words drip such goodness, like sweet olive oil down David's forehead or soft streams trickle down wildflower lanes.  I didn't understand them then, I couldn't.  But I do now.

Oh, the wisdom and tact and confidence and peace, all mixed with grace, to give and receive those words!

Silence is a sacred space these days.  Words are frantic gusts, either treasured carefully in number and delivery, or billowing me over in exhalation and amount.  Like mini tornados leaving storms in the day, or specks of rainbows within the clouds.  Depending on the giver; I the receiver.

Today, I stay in silence.  Words quieted, thus my soul finding rest in this sacred space.  And I think of Bekah, and my own little people of many words  -- needing and sending -- and rethink of wisdom for the hedges around this life, in words.