Tuesday nights. Tuesday nights were breakfast food: dad eating eggs or Grandpa forking Belguim Waffles. Mom swirled new recipes to dollup oatmeal pancakes and Kelly stirred her famous cheese eggs. We'd gather at the big wood dining room table and listen to dad tell stories, and eat our "breakfast for dinner" with orange juice and all. I loved Tuesday nights.
Tuesday nights turned intentional family, when mom watched Jaxson each Tuesday and Josh came for dinner. I drove in from Grandville or Grand Rapids, and Grandma would often come too. Tuesday nights were everyone come, everyone served. Tuesday nights were open table, open conversation, full of lingering coffee and voices mulled and stirred.
Tuesday nights were Josh growing, seeing him blend and become family, flourish at being a dad. Tuesday nights were his purposed spot at the table, and his chuckle interwoven with dads.
Tuesday nights were Melissa. Melissa modeling mom to cook and befriending in the process. Tuesday nights were the two of them preparing and sharing meals, figuring grocery list, and all of us coming to take part.
Tuesday nights were all of us. Learning grown-up family. Being together. Being fed, in heart and body. Tuesday nights were no one rushing out, were real estate discussed, cars bought & sold, and laughter all around.
One of the most difficult things about getting married, is absense of giving Mark Tuesday nights. Is the space void of his place at the table, his knowing of our memories, his viewing of how we all reminisce, his understanding of the men's interaction. I wish I could give Mark Tuesday nights -- for him, and for me. I wish I could give him the taste of my moms homemade blueberry pancakes, of rides on the quad out back, of hugs walking in the door, of the smell of fresh-mowed Homerich grass. I wish I could give him wild rides on the boat, where hands grip the handles, and days rocking on the green chairs at the lake.
I wish I could give him Tuesday nights. I wish I could give him that understanding of me.
I wish he had Tuesdays as well Christina. I can see you all there, in my mind, and I know that your Mom would have welcomed him in, the guys would have taken him to see their trucks and cars and toys. Meanwhile, Mark would have been just as happy sitting with Jaxson playing trucks in the corner but would be open to all of them and all Tuesdays meant and still mean to you.
ReplyDeleteI know you will create your own Tuesdays and I can't wait to hear about them!