Soul Strength.

What was in Ghadi that made him follow through?  What was in Martin Luther King, Jr. that pushed him forward even after his family and house were in jeopardy?  What was in Hudson Taylor that urged him despite his surroundings?  The souls of men that did not falter.

I sometimes stare at the wall and marvel at them, then self-defeat myself into inward oblivion, casting curses on myself for who I am, and who I am not.  There are these posters and billboards which echo men's names.  Champion of a different sort.  Those who pushed against and for diversity, justice, truth, change.

I never recovered.  I always thought I had it in me to be "one of them" but after April 17, 2009, it just never quite came back.  That inner strength gives way to falter, the tired of my soul weakens quickly, and the stamina that once was, has very little surgance.

So I look at these other people and wonder, with filtered jealousy.  What was in them that kept them pushing?  What was in that them outlived their call?  What was in them that pulled them out of bed in the morning, squeezed them past the afternoon slump, and left them still prevalent to fight at night?